The secrets the Airline's don't want you to know about...

I use to work for an airline years ago, I know the ends and outs of the airline business. I worked for a shitty little airline called ATA. It stands for "Another Tacky Airline" they were a small airline trying to compete with the big boys. Hence they are no longer around and that job was the worse job I ever had. I worked with more mean spirited people gloomy and full of hate. When you fly the always lie to the customers and use code words to do it. Hell yes motherfuckers I'm giving away all of your damn secrets. What are you going to do about it? So ignorance and stupidity is what gets most people kicked off of a plane. Most people get kicked off a plane if they act crazy or are drunk. Its at the Captain's discretion if you stay on the plane or not. Here is a pointer if you are a fish and love to drink. Don't even try to sit in the emergency aisle. They will tell you its a safety issue to keep you from those seats. I know people want to unwind and relax when they fly. But be warned if you get drunk it could be bad news for your ass. If you already have a seat in the emergency aisle. Then appear to be intoxicated then you will be asked to move to another seat. You ask what if the flight is full? Well then someone will be asked to trade a seat with you. If you refuse to change seats you will get a big ass D stamped on that forehead. You will be kicked off of the flight. I have seen it happen to a few dummies out there. As I said before ignorance will get people kicked off of planes. I have seen people bitching about Muslim people who pray before every flight. They have to be facing east to do this. Well the ignorant asses always bitch and start trouble for the Muslims. If you wear a turban you will really be in for it. I have seen people refuse to fly if they see people on the flight with a turban on. Sadly the people minding their own business are asked to leave the plane. Because Midwest Sally is afraid for her safety. Here is one that most of you want to know about and most people ask questions about it.There are three types of delays one is called the chain effect its when a flight is late in the morning or a red eye flight. That makes the flights all day late and you miss connecting flights. The second one is a weather delay we have all seen them and been in them. Its mother nature so you can't really bitch about that can you? The last one is the one they lie about all the damn time. Its mechanical and something is wrong with one of the engines. Or a door won't close where they store the bags. It could be that the blue water full of shit won't drain. Sometimes its a small problem that can be fixed. Other times its when a flight is cancelled and you have to wait for another plane. If your flight has been cancelled then its because the plane is not flyable at all. If you act crazy on a flight you will be arrested and they won't blink. Here are some stories from when I worked for a shitty airline. A family was on their way to Hawaii for a wedding. All hell broke loose on the flight when a man and woman start fist fighting on the plane. The woman is punching the man in the face and his face is bloody. Well cart tart's inform me and I call the police. Well I removed them from the flight and had them wait apart from each other. Until the police would arrive well my mouth fell open. The woman was telling me to let her go over to the man who happened to be her father. Talk about some Jerry Springer shit that is crazy. Well the police finally arrive and the woman starts to go crazy. She was like five foot six inches tall and it took two six foot men to restrain her. She must have been on that stuff she was strong as hell. The true name of the airline was American Trans Air. But I had to change the name of that shitty airline. Another thing I had to do was remove people from the plane for "Safety reasons" Which is a big ass lie and that you will be kicked off the damn plane. The most ghetto people fly to Hawaii if you didn't know. On this one flight it was full and this big wide woman was sitting in the aisle seat. Everyone has just finished boarding and were seated. Well this woman was so damn big that only one of her ass cheeks would fit into the damn seat. Those queeny cart tart's were not happy and they informed the Captain. Well most of the people I worked with were not real enough. To handle being real with someone but still being professional. The flight was delayed because this big ass woman was blocking the aisle. On the Hawaii flights you get a meal served to you on the way over and back. They could not wheel the food and beverage carts up and down the aisles. With her big ass blocking the way so I had to go and retrieve her from the plane. Houston we have a fucking problem here. This beached whale made it onto the plane. I walked up to her and told her that she would have to exit the plane. She asked me why and everyone and their momma's were watching us talk. I had to tell her it was because of safety issues. I told her if there was an emergency that people would need to be able. To exit the plane and do it fast as possible. What I really wanted to tell her was to leave those damn Cheeseburgers alone and stop sitting on that damn air hose. She was embarrassed and I was embarrassed for her but she needed to get up. She kept saying over and over how could we do this to her. She paid her money just like everyone else. I finally had to tell her look I know you're embarrassed. But you need to gather your things and get off of the plane. Finally she got up and let me tell you. She had one of the biggest asses I ever seen in my life. She made Aquanetta's ass look like a flat fucking board. So people were talking  and drinking coffee and stuff in the aisle seats. She had turned sideways to walk down the aisle. I swear her ass was not only knocking people out of their seats. She was knocking over coffee and cell phones and magazines and newspapers. From people's hands she even knocked a poor man's glasses off of his face. If you are a fat person please take this advice buy two fucking seats when you fly. It will make it easier on you and the people or person that has to sit next to you. That flight ended up having a twenty five minute delay because of big bertha.. I have seen all kinds of things and I have many stories from working five years for an airline. I will never go back to work for another one again.